One of the biggest concerns moms have for their tween/teen daughters is their loss of confidence. Social media, friendships and simply going through adolescence can contribute to girls comparing themselves to others and, in many cases, ending up on the short end of the stick. Our girls need their moms now more than ever! If we properly guide and support them, they will begin to trust themselves more. When they trust their own beautiful intuitive nature, they have a better shot at becoming confident, mature and self-assured women (newsflash!, it’s only a few short years away!).
Here are some sure fire ways to help your daughter increase her sense of “I’m Worthy”:
1. Model the behavior you want to see. Moms, we are our daughters’ most impactful role models. But we’re so busy; we may be unaware that we’re unwittingly exhibiting the behaviors that we’re telling our daughters NOT to do. We trash talk ourselves and our own bodies and then wonder why our daughters don’t feel good in their own skin. We get frustrated when they’re on their cell phones too long, but we don’t think twice about checking our social media multiple times a day or taking a call during dinner. We tell them to speak to others with kindness but sometimes what comes out of our own mouths is
TIP: start noticing in yourself the things you tend to correct in your daughter. If your own actions don’t align with what you claim to value, then make a conscious change. Believe me, your daughter will notice.
2. Allow her to fail! Let me ask you a question: have you ever failed at anything in your life? Of course, you have. What was the biggest lesson you learned from it? If you answered, ‘it taught me how capable I was to bounce back and ultimately succeed’….you are correct! If we deny our daughters the gift of failure, we’re setting them on the fast track to low self-esteem! I’m not sure why this generation of mothers has a penchant for saving their
daughters from misery, pain or struggle. Please keep this in mind: if you don’t allow your daughter to fail and get back up on her own two feet, she will never know how capable she is and the chances are also good that she’ll resent you when she’s older. I know. I’ve seen it a million times!
TIP: If your daughter fails a test and you immediately offer her ice cream or dinner out as a consolation prize, put on the ‘mouth’ breaks and simply say something like “Sorry, honey, that really stinks. I know how hard you studied.” Or if she befriends someone who you see is ‘bad news’, don’t insist on breaking up the friendship (unless there’s danger involved, of course); let her figure out on her own that maybe this person is not trustworthy.
3. Ask her opinion on important matters. Your daughter is in school for so many hours taking direction and spewing facts. How about you get her input on things that you normally wouldn’t ask her. Next time you have a conflict or dilemma, think about asking your daughter for her opinion on what you should do. You never know what creative, thoughtful solution is lurking in her mind. Even if you don't take your daughter’s suggestion, the mere fact that you’re asking her shows her that you value her opinion. That can go a long way toward making her feel cherished and appreciated - two key ingredients to feeling
good in one’s own skin.
TIP: If you’re considering two job options, discuss the pros and cons of each or ask her opinion about a political issue that you believe is important.
For the remaining 5 confidence-boosting tips/tricks, head here.
Thanks to Sheira Brayer, a motivational speaker, coach, mentor and award-winning songwriter, for her tips. She offers innovative solutions and strategies to help moms and their tween/teen daughters improve communication, reduce stress, increase awareness and boost confidence. To find out more about Motiv8 coaching, you can go visit her website, email her at: firstname.lastname@example.org or call: 631-615-8167. You can connect with her on Facebook and Twitter.
Sheira's mantra, “When our girls are strong, our world is stronger,” really resonates with me. Although, my daughter is still very young, I believe that it's never too early to address self confidence. And that includes encouraging girls to strive for and participate in male dominated activities and careers. Princess Awesome, for instance, is a clothing line for girls that is dedicated to motifs that are typically only found in boy clothing. Think dinosaurs, pirates, robots and even the pi symbol. How cool is that?!? Your daughter's wardrobe doesn't only have to be filled with ruffles and bows!
Clearly, my lil' lady bean is LOVING her pi bedecked play dress! Let's hear it for girl power!
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